Aamir Khokhar
English 101-111
Dr. Kirstein Kaschock
November 29, 2016
Reflective Essay
Coming into class this semester, a necessity, I
learned was to have a clear understanding of the mechanics for literature
composition. I learned that it would mature my writing to a higher level of
thinking. Past experiences in my writing through English teacher feedback
indicated it to be full of foibles. Often I would receive feedback on my
writing being awkwardly worded or lacking fluidity. For this reason I stated on
the first discussion board for this class that my main goal was for my writing
to be fluid. Little did I know at that time that my notions in writing would
give a glimpse for the overall purpose of this class. The exposure to readings,
formal and informal writings will give the practice my writing needed and will
help find my voice. Similarly to how Joan Didion puts it in her excerpt “Why I
Write”, writing is an art for others to “listen to me, see it my way, [and]
change your mind” (Didion). The way we communicate as an art does not come
naturally as we must sculpt for growth to occur.
My personal narrative, for instance demonstrates an efficient
transitional process for drafting and the importance of articulating a message.
Furthermore, for my drafts I received much advice which would later be incorporated
within the final piece. Concerns such as the addition of dialogue, grammar and
tense issues and overall style would be explicitly answered throughout the
process of revising and editing my draft. General criticism I was given about
my narrative was it needed clarity by focusing on a specific event. The account
of my summer experience in Pakistan such as how I felt before leaving the
country to embracing the lifestyle of my relatives needed more depth, a central
theme. Since my encounter of witnessing poverty first hand conveyed a powerful
image, my narrative should focus on a specific event and relating that event to
what I learned about myself. As a result, my main narrative highlight should
revolve around my fourth and fifth paragraph which was about my motorcycle
ride.
Other notable
changes I made were in the beginning of my first draft. I started my
introduction by presenting a series of questions when writing about the memory.
I was suggested to avoid that style since it might cause confusion and take
away the readers focus. The questions themselves were “are all these issues
somehow connected to a common ingredient? If so what social issues need the
most attention and concern with?” The
best advice I took was to answer these questions with my descriptions and
overall theme rather than answer them directly. The most difficult problem I
faced while writing was that I needed to add dialogue. The way I went about
trying to solve the problem was about thinking about the main message of this
paper itself and finding a relevant dialogue that could perhaps connect my list
of events while at the same time incorporate the main idea earlier in the
story.
My final draft was to answer all concerns, as my
message was to make an impact in the future. I further elaborate on having a
profession dealing with such economic issues. I did however take note that my
draft itself could still benefit from more improvement than the concerns I took
note of. Front door issues such as
grammar, especially in punctuation is something I needed to progress on. Other considerations which I ignored, which
could perhaps strengthen my overall narrative include the idea of adding
sources. I could have expanded more in my draft by comparing the lives of the
rich and poor in Pakistan and possibly research why the country is in this
state of poverty.
I
was also able to give critical analysis through my peer responses and in return
critique my own writing. In general, for my peer responses I would give similar
feedback and ask questions for which I used during my interview I had with my
profile. For instance, I read Joseph Cuce’s profile piece and responded by
asking him to consider the following questions. “What did being a scoutmaster feel for
you before Chris? How has your viewpoint changed or shift from your admiration
of Chris? In what ways do you feel that Chris and you are different or very
similar? How does Chris view his experience and learning through his transition
to becoming a scout master?” Furthermore, I
told Joseph Cuce that by adding more detail and perhaps some dialogue, it could
readers a full picture of Chris and his legacy to you and others.
It
was at that moment, I was starting to see the importance of specificity and
argument needed in a profile. This was perhaps the most difficult problem I
faced while writing my profile since I already talked about my father earlier
in my narrative essay. At first, in my original profile it seemed really subtle
that my writing did not have a clear focus till I examined my other peers’
profile drafts. The feedback I received
revolved around this concept. I needed to focus on one aspect that made my
father a successful businessman he is today.
Despite
knowing the issue first hand, I decided to another alternative my internship
mentor Dr. Henkel. The reason for this was that I had more substance to work
with and also since I already talked about my father earlier in my personal
narrative. With the aid of Norton Field Guide to Writing” book in the section
Profile there was a subsection called “A Brief Guide to Writing Profiles” which
gave me insight to write about my profile, Dr. Henkel. I was given useful tips
to writing about an aspiring and unique individual who influences the way I
think. Specific tips such as interviewing; coming up with an angle and perhaps
adding anecdotes helped established the basic foundation for my profile (Bullock).
In my
profile I remember adding sensory detail of my visits to Dr. Henkel dental firm
Horsham Dental Elements. The angle for which I would write about him was from
my perspective as a student. In my profile I would give small anecdotes which
portrayed Dr. Henkel personality and his relationship with his co- workers or
patients. I would relate my mentor’s characteristics to other things I learned
about him during my email interview with him.
I learned much about the start of his dental clinic, experience during
his school years, goals in life and overall beliefs. All in all, this idea of
peer editing and revision made me realize the more input a person put into their
writing or peer response the more likely they will benefit from it.
Overall, as
a whole I believe I still have much to learn. The idea that writing is a
continuous process that is more than just scribbling or meshing ideas is what I
should take into consideration. From the different types of writings and
strategies such as understanding the argument and process of drafting helped me
stay organized when it came to delivering the final piece. Things I have yet to
improve on is mainly my writing style and the overall way I develop sentences. In
the future I hope I can be more effective in writing as it is a necessary form
of communication. As stated, writing is about painting one’s voice, which can
take time.
Works Cited
Bullock, Richard. "The
Norton Field Guide to Writing." 4th ed., W. W. Norton & Company;,
2016.
Didion, Joan. "Why I
Write." PDF ed., 1976.
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